There are three main types of anger; passive, open and assertive. Each shapes how we react to a situation that has made us feel the way and act the way we do. Issues surrounding anger can arise from a current situation, a build-up of smaller situations or a snap trigger point. If you are angry, it is best to remove yourself from the current situation to allow your body time to calm itself before discussing the situation and potential causes.
Many don’t like to admit that they are angry, because they do not like confrontation – this is called passive aggression. This can come out in silence, sulking, procrastinating (putting stuff off you need to do), and pretending “everything is fine”. Passive aggression comes from a need to be in control. Want a hand with dealing with it? Read ahead about ‘assertive anger’.
On the other hand, many people tend to lash out in anger and rage, becoming physically or verbally aggressive and can often hurt themselves or others. This is called Open Aggression. It comes out in fighting, bullying, blackmailing, accusing, shouting, bickering, sarcasm and criticism. Open aggression comes from a need to be in control. Want a hand with dealing with open aggression? Read ahead about ‘assertive anger’. Sometimes the anger can be taken out on property or even on ourselves – see the section on self-harm.
The healthy way to deal with anger is by being self-controlled and confident. Talk and listen and be open to help in dealing with the situation. This Assertive anger can help relationships to grow. It means thinking before you speak, being confident in how you say it, yet open and flexible to the ‘other side’. It means being patient; not raising your voice; communicating how you are feeling emotionally, and really trying to understand what others are feeling. When you deal with anger assertively, you demonstrate that you are mature and care about your relationships and yourself.
Forgiveness is always important; if a person has apologized for making you angry, or if you realize that the situation “isn’t worth it”, be open to forgive. And willing to be forgiven and forgive yourself! This will help you to calm down and will help your relationships with others to flourish.
Remember that you are important. Your life counts, and you can make a difference in this world. If you ever need to talk about this or anything else, feel free to get in touch with us. We’re here for you.
Help with anger can identify your triggers, examine your thought patterns and help develop communication skills. Also, by taking a look at your lifestyle and making a few adjustments, could help make you feel calmer and more in control.
Ways to Help with Anger issues can be through;
The Devon Clinic can help you find which therapy and practitioner will be most beneficial to you.